So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
