Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize