Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
