It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
