fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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