I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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