You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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