Whatcha textin bout Willis?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
