Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
