matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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