after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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