I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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