how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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