you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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