is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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