1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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