Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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