STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
