I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
