I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
