And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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