i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
