i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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