Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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