Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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