just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
