just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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