i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
