you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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