We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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