he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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