The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
