So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
