I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His hands were made for my vagina.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
