hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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