Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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