Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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