I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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