he told me I talked like a deaf person
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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