so explain again why im purple
no
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
