So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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