whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
