He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
