Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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