sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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