I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
