Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
