You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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