No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
