): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
